Our neighbors and long time friends have the nicest son, Andrew. He really is great, very polite but sincere and geniunely funny. We have known him since he was born and our daughter has been in the same grade with him throughout four years of elementary school so we never expected him to have a dark, sinister side. Thus the news we got from his mom yesterday morning was a shock.
Andrew was frightened to go into school to the point of panic. He revealed to his parents that he was facing a 10 day suspension for behavior in school per a meeting with his principal the day before. Apparently this 9 year old menace to society was to be publicly excoriated for a very high crime. He had farted on a girl while playing ball in gym class.
Naturally the mother was beside herself. She assured her boy that everything would be alright and that certainly, there was a misunderstanding and she would call the school. As soon as she could she got the principle on the phone and declared that it must be a mistake and that these things must happen all the time in sports. The principle appeared confused by her vigorous defense but assured her that he would look further into the situation.
A couple of hours later Andrews mom got a call from the school office. A secretary told her that they had conducted an investigation of the matter but, frankly, couldn't figure out what happened. However not to worry, her son would not be suspended until they got to the bottom of the matter.
When the mom in question got home, her heart still racing from a day of suspense, Andrew casually came up to her with a slight aura of sheepishness.
"Mom, you know that thing about farting on Piper? Well, the more I think about it, the more I think I just dreamed it last night. In fact, by the time I got to school, I was pretty sure of it... I was just very sleepy this morning. Sorry."
I got nothin' to say....